Healthy or Unhealthy?

Having a partner (boyfriend/girlfriend) can be an exciting and important time in your life. If your relationship with your partner is a healthy one, you and your partner will feel good about yourselves and value each other. However, sometimes relationships can be hurtful and have a negative effect on your feelings of self worth and self-confidence. This can happen if your partner is abusive towards you. If this is the case, you are in an unhealthy relationship. Remember, being on your own is also a healthy way to be. having a partner is not a necessary part of life. Discovering life for yourself can be exciting and rewarding.

What is abuse?
Abuse is being hit, slapped or pushed around. It can also be invisible and leave no marks. Emotional and verbal abuse can be terrifying and equally dangerous.

Does your relationship include abuse?
You may feel that it's your fault if things aren't working out. Sometimes living with the abuse seems better than being alone. You may hope that your partner will change and the abuse will stop - chances are, things will get worse! This happens to many people - you are not alone and it's not your fault! Remember, all forms of abuse are attempts to control. Take control of your life, be yourself, take charge!

Relationship Quiz

In a relationship, have you ever experienced:
1.	physical violence?	Yes	No
2.	threats that your partner will leave you if you don't do what he/she asks?	Yes	No
3.	being kept away from family and friends?	Yes	No
4.	not being allowed to look at or speak to other males/females?	Yes	No
5.	having to justify your whereabouts?	Yes	No
6.	your partner using guilt trips to get his/her own way?	Yes	No
7.	not being able to go out without your partner?	Yes	No
8.	any put-downs about your physical appearance?	Yes	No
9.	your partner never being satisfied with you?	Yes	No
10.	fear or intimidation by your partner?	Yes	No
11.	being treated badly or humiliated in front of your friends or family?	Yes	No

If you answered yes to one or more questions, you may be in an unhealthy relationship.

Tips for Safer Dating

• Tell someone where you're going and with whom.
• Meet in public places for the first few dates.
• Have transportation or money for the bus, taxi and phone.
• Be able to call a taxi: know the address of where you are.
• State your limits. Know how far you want to go.
• Have a safety plan.
• Avoid alcohol and never leave your drink unattended.
• Pay your won way: be independent.
• Get to know your date. Are your date's values similar to yours?
• In a long term dating situation, keep in touch with your family and friends.
• Trust your instincts.

Call 911 or your local police immediately if you are in danger.

• The Assaulted Women's Helpline: (24 hours) 1-866-863-0511
  (toll-free), 1-866-863-7868 (TTY), 416-863-0511 (Toronto)
• Women’s Shelters: Go to www.shelternet.ca or look in your local telephone book.
• Kids Help Phone: (24 hours) 1-800-668-6868

Thanks to:
YWCA of Peterborough, Victoria & Haliburton; Kawartha Pine Ridge District School Board; Peterborough Victoria Northumberland and Clarington District School Board; Peterborough Lakefield Community Police Service

This brochure is reprinted with the permission of
YWCA of Peterborough, Victoria & Haliburton
705-743-3526 or 1-800-461-7656 (TTY Accessible)

Copies of this poster can be ordered from:
Metropolitan Action Committee on
Violence Against Women and Children Phone: 416.392.3135 or 1.877.558.5570
Fax: 416.392.3136
email: info@metrac.org
www.metrac.org | www.owjn.org

The views expressed herein are those of YWCA of Peterborough, Victoria & Haliburton and do not necessarily reflect those of the government of Ontario.

Reprinted with the support of the Ontario government.